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撸奶社区letter: Let鈥檚 address the poo-apocalypse

'Let us take action now, with every leash clipped on and every waste bag filled (and not thrown in the bushes.)'
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Man picking up, cleaning up dog droppings, as one should.

Esteemed citizens of Squamish, lend me your ears—and hold your noses. Our beloved town, a veritable Eden nestled between the sea and sky, is under siege, not by invading forces or natural disasters, but by an army of four-legged, tail-wagging culprits: the untethered dogs of Squamish.

In our fair town, the battlefields are our parks, the estuary, and our once-pristine trails. These are the trenches of our modern struggle, strewn with the landmines of canine excrement.

Each step is a perilous adventure, a dance with disaster. One misstep and your boots become a casualty.

The estuary, home to the noble bears, has been transformed into a chaotic canine playground. Leash laws, those bastions of civility, are flagrantly ignored, and enforcement is but a distant dream. Our ursine neighbors, once the monarchs of this protected realm, now contend with a canine cacophony. It is as if the wild frontier has been overrun by unruly guests, with no respect for the established order.

To add insult to injury, Sp’akw’us Feather Park—a brand new oceanfront gem—is swiftly establishing itself as a haven for dog feces and leashlessness. The beauty of our newest park is overshadowed by the overwhelming presence of dog waste, turning a potential jewel into yet another casualty of this ongoing issue.

Now, let’s address the elephant in the room—or rather, the off-leash dog in the park. It’s truly remarkable how every dog owner in 撸奶社区seems to believe that their furry friend is the exception to the rule. “Oh, but my dog is so well-behaved, he doesn’t need a leash!” they proclaim, as their canine companion joyfully sprints through flower beds, into traffic, and atop your toddler’s head. And let’s not forget the universal dog owner mantra: “I always pick up after my dog.” If that were true, dear citizens, our trails wouldn’t resemble a battlefield from a poopocalypse movie.

But let us not merely lament our fate; let us rally to the cause! Here are a few bold actions we might take:

1. Enforcement with Vigour: It is imperative that our city officials enforce leash laws with the tenacity of a bulldog on a bone. Fines must be levied, and the rules must be upheld. Let there be no quarter given to those who would let their pets roam free, to the detriment of all.

2. Community Action: We, the people of Squamish, must take a stand. Dog owners must be reminded of their civic duty. Posters, campaigns, and a touch of public shaming may be in order. Let us make it known that 撸奶社区is not a free-range dog park but a shared space requiring mutual respect.

3. Dog Waste Stations: Strategic placement of dog waste stations, complete with bags and bins, will leave no excuse for negligence. Let us equip our parks and trails with the necessary tools to combat this scourge.

4. Education and Outreach: Finally, an informed community is a responsible community. Educational programs in schools, community centers, and social media can help spread the word. Let us teach the next generation the importance of leashes and the proper disposal of waste.

Let us take action now, with every leash clipped on and every waste bag filled (and not thrown in the bushes.)

Randall Stevens

Squamish

 

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