When George Orwell wrote and penned the now famous words, "All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others," he likely didn't have local driving habits in mind. But this concept, in slightly modified form, is even more applicable today.
Here, with apologies to Orwell, is the new slogan: "All drivers are equal, but some drivers are more equal than others." After all, why should every driver be held equally accountable? Some individuals, by virtue of their prominent status, the expensive vehicle they are driving, or because they simply are in a hurry, are beyond censure or rebuke.
We've all slowed down in one of those ever-present 50 km/h construction zones, only to be subjected to a serious bout of tailgating. As the pressure mounts, the first reaction is to recall an unwritten axiom of highway etiquette stating that a lack of planning by the driver behind us constitutes an emergency on our behalf.
We also understand that 50 km/h is really highway-speak for 70, while 80 km/h translates into 110 on most stretches of our fast-paced roads. Still, since most of us have limited powers of clairvoyance, it is difficult to grasp the growing ill-will exhibited by one of our fellow travellers, who has suddenly morphed into a festering volcano in search of a vent.
Luckily this problem can now be easily remedied by supplying a select group of drivers with mood lights, based on the mood rings so popular back in the waccky '70s. If you recall, those marvels of modern technology changed colour, depending on how the person who owned the ring was feeling. For example, when a mood ring turned dark blue the person wearing it was happy, romantic or passionate. Amber corresponded with nervousness or anxiety, while black was a sure sign the wearer was stressed, tense, or feeling harried.
It was a wonderful way of letting people in on your disposition, instead of simply relying on conjecture, or waiting for your friends to spring that downright embarrassing question, "How do you feel about me today?"
Mood lights are easy to install on designated vehicles. When drivers see amber or black lights in their rear view mirrors, they can either speed up or just pull over and let the driver behind them pass unimpeded.
Mood-based driving variances are the wave of the future. They will enable some drivers to dodge annoying or inconvenient traffic laws, such as pesky speed limits and those unpopular solid double lines in no passing zones.
In fact, and this goes without saying, their jurisdictional boundaries could be expanded to apply to red lights and stop signs, both of which have progressed well beyond the level of nuisance and into the realm of effrontery.
