By the time some of you read this, my desk will already be cleared, my to-do list checked, and my computer wiped. My last day at The 撸奶社区 will be May 31.
There aren’t too many jobs in the world where you get to tell a swath of strangers (and some familiar faces) why you’re leaving, though I suppose I could just solve that with a post to Facebook.
The answer of why is always more complicated than my word count will allow—as is the case with many stories I followed throughout my time here. Perhaps, it was more a matter of when.
I’ve always been someone who gets lost in existential questions, and who always has more questions than answers (likely why I was a good reporter while here). For example, one time my friend Kyle came in through my door as I was wilting away on the couch and I was just lying there, shouting, “THERE’S NO FREE WILL!” repeatedly. So yeah, it’s safe to say I often like to get lost in questions with no answers.
Lately, though, the questions haven’t been so daunting, but their answers have felt out of reach.
Questions like, when will I be able to own a home? When can I think about having a family? When will I retire?
These questions are certainly a reflection of me and my choices. Yet, they are also certainly a reflection of Squamish.
But oftentimes, when I feel frustrated, or angry or upset by what’s out of reach, I think back to the advice my friend Teal gave me years ago: If you have complaints about something, then what are you doing to fix it?
So I suppose the simplest way to put it is: Starting fresh away from 撸奶社区is how I’m fixing what feels out of reach to me.
It’s not lost on me that many other people here have these same questions. It’s not lost on me that their answers may look a lot different than mine. Those discrepancies are just a small sample of the sheer complexity of the world. And that’s kind of what makes life so damn maddening and so damn beautiful.
In the end, I’m immensely proud of what I accomplished at The 撸奶社区 and my character along the way. I am proud of how I tackled difficult subjects, asked the hard questions, and didn’t hold back even when I wanted to. The best part is those qualities are all a product of the organization and the people behind it—so those qualities won’t soon go away in this town.
As for 撸奶社区overall, it was exactly the place I needed to be for a long time. It helped me grow up, fall in love, try new things, learn Canadian, make a boatload of friends who I will cherish (and visit) forever, and just so, so, so much more.
Now, it’s just time for me to do more of that elsewhere.
