When family counsellor Kim John Payne takes on a new client, he gives them two options: One year of therapy or a visit of just one day in their home.
"Many of today's behavioural issues come from children having too much stuff and living a life that is too fast," he said.
"I would visit from breakfast to bedtime. I helped the parents simplify their routines and lives and very often the parents see an improvement in their child's behaviour within days."
On Thursday (Sept. 23) at 7:30 p.m., Payne gives a public lecture on Simplicity Parenting - the title of his latest book- at Quest University. Then on Sunday Sept. 26, Cedar Valley Waldorf School hosts a workshop intensive from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.
Payne, who has his masters in education, has worked for 24 years throughout the world as a counsellor, consultant, researcher and Waldorf-trained educator.
He helps to explore issues such as social difficulties with siblings and classmates, as well as attention, emotional and behavioural issues.
His latest book Simplicity Parenting has received international attention and has been featured in Time Magazine, Parenting Magazine, and on NBC and ABC television.
Payne said many of today's child behaviour problems come from "TMS," or too much stuff.
"All children are quirky, that's what makes them lovable, who they are. But these cumulative stresses slide those quirks along the behaviour spectrum into disorders. Simplicity Parenting is a way to slide the child [in the a positive direction]. They go from having a label, back to being lovable and quirky."
Over the years Payne has travelled exhaustively around the world, particularly through Asia and Africa helping families devastated by AIDS or war.
He said children in Western countries exhibit many of the same behaviours due to stresses - but for the opposite reasons.
"There is not a lot of difference between how overstressed kids are acting in parts of Asia and Africa," said Payne.
"The children in the developing world often have had negative sensory overwhelm, and we give our children sensory overwhelm here - too many trinkets, too many choices, too much information - and this causes a cumulative stress issue in kids that leads to behavioural disorders. Our children are living in the undeclared war on childhood."
Payne said he will help parents at the lecture and workshop create their own Simplicity Menu for their family, breaking it down into four layers: Simplify the environment (books, toys etc.), meal times and food, schedules and information.
He asks that parents see childhood as an unfolding experience, not an enrichment opportunity.
"If it is an enrichment opportunity, then we're in an arms race, trying to get the most for our child. This is fundamentally a con, and not healthy."
Children respond well to this approach, he said.
"You choose whatever fits naturally in your family life. When a family simplifies, the kids love it. It's not a battle. We think kids will put up resistance but they don't - they like it.
"It's about warmth and connecting. In simplifying parenting we get closer to our children, they no longer have to fight for our attention, everything becomes easier and it is actually achieved by doing less."
Tickets are available at the school, Billie's Bouquet and at the door. Advance registration for the workshop is recommended, as space is limited.
Visit www.cedarvalleyschool.com for more information and video about Simplicity Parenting.
