The first time Maryna Altukhova marked International Women’s Day in Canada, she was far from her home in Ukraine, having left as Russia invaded her country.
Back home, March 8 is known simply as the day when you buy gifts for women, and it’s a day Ukrainians celebrate even more than they do for New Year’s.
“It's beautiful when you get to the eighth of March, you smell flowers everywhere and you understand that spring is here,” Maryna said. “Men save money for this day,” she added, because they buy gifts or flowers for all the women in their lives, even their coworkers.
So it was a bit of a shock when she came to Canada and found no one was aware of how significant March 8 is in Ukraine. And although she tries not to attach her heart to expectations, Maryna hasn't gone without flowers since her arrival to Canada. Her first boss knew of the Ukrainian tradition, and purchased flowers for her and all her female coworkers on the first eighth of March she spent in Canada.
Maryna came to Canada in April 2022, just a few months after the Russian invasion. She had been living in Kyiv, Ukraine’s capital city and the home of her dreams.
“It’s a beautiful, beautiful city,” she said while remembering the good home, job and life she had in Kyiv.
Maryna was praying in the early morning of Feb. 24, 2022 when she heard the first Russian bomb hit a neighbouring town.
“They were very, very close,” Maryna said. “Windows were shaking, it was just so loud."
She had already prepared for this day, but there remained lots of uncertainty.
“The first three days you’re trying to understand what to do, because actually you don’t know what to do.”
She waited to make her departure, but she knew it was time to go when the day came that there were tanks on her own street. A knowledgeable friend shared tips to help her prepare for the move, and she was lucky to have fully gassed up her vehicle ahead of time.
“I was so grateful that my tank was full because the next morning, all the gas stations were empty.”
She helped another friend’s family leave the country, and as they neared the border, it took them six days to cross the final eight kilometre stretch.
“Because everyone was trying to leave,” she explained, recalling how one day she only managed to advance by 100 metres towards the border.
All the gas stations along the way had already been emptied of food and water, but people from neighbouring towns volunteered to bring food.
“I still remember this...how it united all people in in that moment.”
Moving to Canada was no simple ordeal. Still today there’s paperwork to sort out and norms to adjust to.
“Nobody planned war...we were not prepared...nobody tells us what we were going to face,” Maryna said while thinking about how difficult the transition to Canadian life was.
She talked about how all the small changes, from food, prices, environment and people, amount to one big stressful situation which you live in every day.
“You think it's a terrible country, but it is not, you're just in this depression of moving, in this mode when you need to survive,” she said.
“It’s been almost three years (since) we're here; we adjusted. We may struggle...but, mostly it's easier to breathe, because time has passed.”
After several moves within Canada, Maryna now finds herself in Williams Lake, B.C., working in car sales at Ranchland Honda.
She has a background in managing sales teams, but car sales are new to her, and she’s learning every day.
“I love communicating with people because sales is more about support, about servicing people, not only to sell, sell, sell.”
While she wishes every day to be able to return home, she doesn’t know if this will ever be possible.
“I need to realize that this is my final destination,” Maryna said. “It's not home yet...but I found peace here.”
She’s been through a lot to get to Williams Lake but said many Ukrainians experienced much worse. She had a friend based in B.C. who helped her through the move and she had savings to get the basics. She also had some knowledge of English - many, she said, had none of these advantages.
“Everyone went through losses, losing people, losing family members, losing homes...Some people, what they went through, it was hell to get here,” Maryna said.
She is very grateful for the support Canadians have shown to Ukrainians over the years, but adds the war isn’t over.
“When we face indifference it’s not easy. So, just have compassion,” she said. “People are still dying in Ukraine so we can’t go back home...be patient with us even if we are not perfect here, we do our best to adjust to Canadian society.”
